|Posted on Monday, June 19, 2000 - 09:45 am: |
I am SO happy to hear from you, I can't begin to tell you! I've been very worried about you! It looks like things are better for you now.
Mainstream medical treatment for cancer is not for me at this time. I'm a Taurus and I'm pretty stubbornly sure about this. One way I'm been able to avoid people pressuring me into slash/burn/poison tx, is by not telling anyone. Of course there are a few people who know, but no one questions me about it at work. I just seem to be so healthy and never talk about my problems.
I've told people that I take herbs, but nothing else, again, with the exception of a few trusted friends and relatives.
Is it OK to discuss my progress with you via this email address? I know you are swamped with correspondence and I really hate to bother you, but I have a few questions, naturally.
Your products are wonderful! They have what I can only describe as an aura of love about them. Since I am so satisfied with your tonics, I haven't had the need to experiment making my own. Thank you!
I do have Purple Datura trees. They are beautiful! In case you are not familiar with this variety, the flowers are purple and white, the stalks are woody and the seed pods are smooth instead of spiny, like other Datura varieties. Would you like some seeds to plant? I did make up some paste and mixed seeds into the paste and did not experience any pain. I used fresh green seeds, just a few. There might have been a subtle systemic effect as well, hard to describe, not unpleasant, no hallucinations.
My religion is Nicherin ShoSho Temple, the lay organization is the Hokkeko. Our practice is for ourselves and others to reach enlightenment in this world and in this lifetime. It is very powerful, but very difficult to practice correctly.
Sometimes when I offer personal prayers, I think about you. I hope this helps.
|Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2000 - 01:18 am: |
Please feel free to share your experiences in whatever way feels good to you. To the extent that you are comfortable with your choices and management of this sometimes challenging process, it could be very helpful to others who are hesitant about undertaking something that might exceed their comfort zone where doubts creep in, as they inevitably do with anything unfamiliar.
I am particularly happy about your experience with jimson seeds because this recipe was one of the oldest I found. The recipe called for "Jamestown seeds" and it took a while for me to identify them. It just seemed so powerful to me that the first colonial settlement had a Native American cancer treatment that was effective and bearable.
Interestingly, just this morning, I heard from someone else. She had been buying our tonics for some months. I thought they were for her horse, but today I realized that she had been given six months to live last October, stage 4 breast cancer. She told me that she also made up a remedy of her own, one with bloodroot, poke root, red onions, and jimson seeds. It was absolutely painless but for some reason she changed to a conventional black salve that she found barbarously painful. She quit doing that and is now using a violet salve that a local herbalist makes for her. The area is ulcerated and open, but she says she has recovered her energy and interest in life and is apparently doing well.
So, when you ask how I am, I have to say that my life is often challenging. I also got an e-mail today from someone who brought her horse to see me. I had such a psychic connection with this horse. Anyway, he had an accident with some barbed wire and is not happy right now. On top of this, she just learned that her best friend had a double mastectomy, radiation, and chemotherapy -- and that she is not doing well.
She, like you, asked how I cope. I cope because of people like you and the other horse lady who has beaten the odds. If it were not for my Bodhisattva vows and total commitment to my Path, I do not think I could face the emotional strain of caring so much and never feeling sure that I have really rescued the last blade of grass!
You understand, I'm sure.
|Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2000 - 01:24 pm: |
Hello to you ladies,
I am 44 y.o. diagnosed with breast cancer for the 3rd time this Jan, 2000. In 1995 I chose lumpectomy, radiation and 6 mos CMF chemotherapy, IT DID NOT WORK.
THIS TIME I'm healing naturally with herbs and hyperthermia and detox and emotional/spiritual work. I feel good and the 10 little superficial nodules on the surface of my breast seem to be fading. But, I do not want to stop my emotional/spiritual healing even if the physical symptoms heal, this is where my healing truly is.
Thanks for sharing, best,
|Posted on Friday, June 23, 2000 - 09:42 am: |
Whenever the subject comes to roller coasters and art I think l am okay with responding. Sorry to hear about Ellen. I remember your post and the dark field work. I guess a lot of it makes me amazed that I am still alive, even if not kicking so high.
When I was in the mountains recently I had trouble breathing and often have a little cough. I am guessing that the pain in my ribs and the cough mean trouble, but the fact is that everyday is a challenge for everyone. Yesterday I read in the paper of a young promising physicist killed because he was sitting in a coffee shop where a car ran over him. You get my point. NONE of us ever know when or where or why.
... but when the eyes open and they see sky and faces, and the skin feels air and heat, and the heart hears the cry of humanity, however remote, it means get up and shake shake shake...
I am terrified most of the time, but the breath keeps us awake and demands a response... to breath again. So that is about it.. I mean the ART.
I have become a master at getting rid of lymphaedema with a sauna and milking the glands. The poultices and internal meds keep me busy and I am still trying to attach somewhere meaningful.
Did France not work out? My son just left this morning for a month there. He has a rich girlfriend and is guest of her family... funny world.
I have gone to a local support group for allopathic breast cancer patients at the local University hospital... it is interesting and scarry: both to be with so many women affected and to realize how few people on this planet have been given the opportunity to learn to think for themselves. Most of the women haven't a clue that there is a world outside of conventional medicine. The social worker can't quite decide what to do with me but is tolerant. I thought it might lead me to conventional medicine, but it hasn't turned out that way. I am too self righteous to give control to a robot doctor. I also have applied for disability and have had to deal with a case worker who can't believe I am not involved in conventional treatment. That is where my membership in the Christian Science church helps. They give me legal rights, not that I have been near a church for 15 years but I still pay my $1.00 dues every year.
Hope you are doing okay. You and your e-mails are a constant encouragement for me. I know that doesn't help you pay your bills but it is support of some kind.
|Posted on Friday, June 23, 2000 - 11:45 am: |
The art, as you put it, of living is very similar to the art of dying. I have often thought that if we knew precisely what we wanted to see as we took one last glance back before moving into the "great unknown," we would also know exactly how we want to live.
I have also suggested to people that they update their wills as a routine measure, not because Death is on the doorstep, but because the quality of thought and emotion that goes into determining the distribution of our life's work helps us to see what is important about life.
I update my will every year or two and my lawyer brings in two more lawyers as witnesses. They ask me "routine" legal questions:
Am I of sound mind?
Am I aware of any illness?
Do I expect to die in the near future?
Am I acting of my own free will?
Well, some people do act of their own free will and others feel beholden to family and friends and they are not drafting documents that are perfect reflections of themselves.
I always feel incredibly good when I finish this because my life is clearer to me. I know who my friends are and who are allies in work I have undertaken. I also feel that there will somehow be a continuity, maybe not with the same hands on the wheel, but the energies in this dimension do not necessarily end when the captain departs.
Years back, I had three white Akitas. The eldest, Keoki, died very suddenly. He let out a piercing cry and was gone despite hours on my part of trying to revive him. Keoki and I were almost like a married couple and when a few days later, I looked at the youngest one, Runeka, and asked if she missed her father, she looked at me as though she knew something I was missing.
Then, all of a sudden, Tilok moved to the part of the bed where Keoki had always slept and Runeka moved to where Tilok had been. I felt that they each promoted themselves a rank and this hierarchy became annoying to me until I looked once again and saw Keoki's aura and realized that he, too, had moved up a rank.
After that, he was very happy because he knew I knew where he was. He used to jump through the open window of the car and sit in the front seat, another promotion, and he no longer needed my permission to do all the things he always wanted to do.
Then, when visiting Hawaii, I decided to drop in on my old Kahuna friend, Morrnah Simeona. Morrnah asked immediately, "Which one of your dogs died?" I asked why. She said, "There is a white dog sitting on the sidewalk who followed you here." I asked, "Is he earthbound?" She closed her eyes in the way I had always remembered her doing when important utterances were soon to follow. I was riveted on her and then her eyes opened and her lips began to move. She said, "He said to tell you that it is his pleasure to be with you until the end of Time."
I realized the lines we draw between this life and the infinite and all the importance we attach to this life when, in reality, we are simultaneously alive in all dimensions.
I know your situation is not happy, but in the time I have known you, I have seen you move with spirit and enthusiasm and get stuck in places where your energy can't find any direction to move. I do not know that there is a single thing anyone can do to increase life by so much as a single breath, but I know there is a lot we can do to alter how we feel about the moment.
Love and blessings,
|Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2000 - 12:30 am: |
You suggested I share a little of my healing process which has occurred over the past eleven years. I am happy to do this.
Your discourse on Venus/Mars and the emotional link to Cancer (and other illnesses) rang so many bells for me. At the time I met you at the Astrology Conference in Adelaide in 1990 I knew I had abnormal cells in my breasts. The workshop you offered at that conference that I attended "by chance" I have never doubted saved my life.
I was, at that time, 52 years old. The previous 18 months had been a culmination of emotional pain that I then realised I had experienced most of my life. I had been experiencing a disastrous marriage with a man I had attracted to me because of my own feelings of inadequacy. I was supporting and helping to nurse my mother who had had a double amputation of her legs, and my father in law had died following a long sojourn with my husband and me. We had also suffered a major home invasion and lost many personal things.
Your description of the impact of stress and diet on the immune system as illustrated by the planets, their positions and aspects made my threatened illness and its causes so clear to me.
I listened to the advice you gave as the "Kitchen Doctor" and began to change my diet, eliminating dairy products and limiting meat based protein. I also began to search for the herbs you talked of. Believe it or not, even echinacea was not available in Adelaide, Australia, at that time.
I was undertaking training in Psychosynthesis at that time, and realised the importance of my awakening consciousness. The symbolism of what was happening to me at that time was not lost on me. Meditation became a way of life as did my need to continue to walk along the Path.
Needless to say, these changes were flagged in my own astrological natal chart, and the events described were the catalysts opening the way for me to "hear" your messages.
By the end of 1990, my mother had died, my marriage had ended and with it my career as a Real Estate Agent. I knew I was ready to undertake something new to expand my view of the Universe and its energies but was suffering greatly from fear and anxiety and all the physical symptoms pertaining to those emotional states. I realised that my adrenals and hence my physical body were very traumatised by all the High Air Uranian energy I was absorbing and I determined to work on that first.
Despite the pain of the losses I had suffered during that year, I felt a release of energy. It was as though at last I could release the anger that had been pent up for so long. In my natal chart, Mars is in rulership (Scorpio) in the 4th house. He squares Mercury in Leo 1st house, yet I had always swallowed every expression of dissent or anger I ever experienced. I used my Venus to get me what I thought I wanted: friendship, acceptance and love. Venus is in Gemini in the 11th sextiling Mercury. Undoubtedly the anxiety and fear were related to the releasing of those energies and my fears of what further cataclysmic event/s might happen should I expose myself! Would my friends and family still approve?
Within the next year, 1991, I applied to enter University. I was accepted and decided to use my mother's bequest to me to see me through my studies. I studied psychology, sociology, and European History for the first year. I was still suffering the symptoms of high anxiety, so I realised I needed to get away from my normal environment to allow my system to heal. I moved to Perth, Western Australia, and continued my studies for three further years to gain a degree in social work.
During 1993/4 I realised my symptoms were abating; they disappeared completely by the time I finished at University. I have learned so much on my Path. I am fit and healthy, no sign of any cancer cells. I have no fear now of expressing myself and have learned what a blessing my ability to do so is to myself and in particular, how it helps others. I am able to stop and smell the roses, and I am loving living and appreciating the beauty around me. My need for other people to like and approve of me has gone and I still have the wonderful people who were my friends for all the years and so I am truly blessed. I have found I am able to extend my creative talents in very practical ways that I have never experienced before and the fact that these talents are now being used to help organise some services for others is immensely satisfying.
Many thanks, Ingrid, for the work you do and offer so unstintingly to other.